Why do I get these mad ideas into my head and work on them as if nothing else matters?
Why don’t I trust politicians or believe in priest’s?
Why do I like porn and why don’t I ditch it by the wayside? Why don’t I ditch alcohol (again) and leave that by the roadside too?
Why does long term employment evade me and why don’t I like employers?
Why is it I see through their shit and then tell them about it?
Why don’t I watch the news and buy their newspapers?
Why don’t I grow up and stop belching and finding toilet jokes funny?
Why don’t I stop farting, or can I even stop farting?
Why can’t I have something more simple than ADHD, why or why oh why do I have so much energy?
Why don’t I appreciate that ‘awful’ school my parents sent me too?
Why did those policemen let me go?
Why did that fool eat that bat?
Why is Donald Trump still alive? Why do they both have stupid looking hair?
Why does Jackie have a sn***le? and Why oh why have the owners of this web platform changed the layout and the way it all works? (WANKERS)
Why am I writing this shit? Why am I calling this SHIT shit?
So yet another year has passed, and for that matter so has another job/employer. This time over signing a piece of paper. It would seem’s my happy little brain is not very good at remembering such things. Never mind the place was badly run when I started there back last October and from there it has just got worse. Where else, would you find clothing and books ending up in the fridge next to the Yogurt and Cheese?
I feel half tempted to mention the name of the place here,but shall content myself with saying Heyford Hill. Make of it what you will.
Happier news now, I am having a spurt of growth in the creative department, and am pressing ahead with making some business out of it all. I am, if you have been visiting here regularly have realised by now I am not very good at holding down employment. Well I can barely sack myself, can I?
I don’t want to post anything art wise on this post, this does not mean I have been lazy. Far from it, I have simply played around with camera’s enough for one day and am feeling hungry, it is after all lunch time.
Instead I thought I would share a photo my best friend/Fiance took of me a couple of day ago. We aim to get all three of the cats involved at some point.
BTW Jessica is my real name, and any idea’s of my being trans should not be entertained. I just happen to enjoy wearing women’s clothes.
So since the last job fell through or should that be since the universe wanted something else of me. Actually enough has already been written about this time, So it is better to write of something else.
My efforts at looking for re-employment have been minimal half of me says go look the other half says PAINT and so it is the still quiet voice withing that is followed and the lure of an employer fails to attract me to its baited line. Call it lazy or call it whatever,painting brings me a great sense of peace and probably helps one deal with the torments of ADHD and mental ill health even the job centre have an appreciation of these things and they know me quite well in that place so much so I may as well apply for a job there, they may even employ me.
Brandy is a highly addictive substance, my Mum warned me about it many years ago and I mentioned this to her a few days ago when I was down that neck of the woods. She promptly warned me again. I think she noticed how much I was drinking and it’s pointless denying it I drink just a little bit more than is sensible, or is the bottles are not big enough? One or the other, I have yet to establish which.
Other news, a career in the creative sector appeals to me, preferably self employed and I am applying myself diligently to this. It would be nice to have a studio to work from or maybe I can use the greenhouse, it’s big enough for sure and has plenty of light coming in. I wonder what the cards would say to such an idea, actually I went to check a place yesterday, it’s not great but a step in the right direction for sure. teaching art to the greater community and sharing ones skills in encouraging others to be creative with paint. Yeah.
Sophia loren is a beautiful woman. However my fiance J is just that bit more so. x
And heaven knows I could be miserable now.
It seems the cycle is doomed to repeat itself and the career to end my career is not that one. Again I find myself unemployed and twiddling my thumbs, this morning was pretty awful had a really black mood and was feeling most depressed. You have to look at the bright side of things and consider they only gave you three weeks annual leave and that could not be taken all at once. So that’s a real sod if you are planning on getting married and taking your lovely wife to be on a honeymoon somewhere and planning to help your Father in law repair the house, because you said you would and it’s a way of getting to know the him better.
This and other things I have been brooding over for a little while and the answer has been provided. So should I be happy or should I be sad. and I’m not happy and I’m not sad. At least I have discovered I like doing admin.
I have this unfortunate habit of telling people what I really think and it comes to the fore when I have been drinking. The hotel we were put in last week was a glitter covered turd. Bugger all in the way of vegetarian food, and that was below par, the beds were rock hard… I was going to complain I cannot now be bothered.
I have been listening to the Smiths and Morrissey a lot of recent, can you tell?
I always thought the smell of that Formaldehyde or whatever they use gets up my nose and did not want to leave. I am glad to leave it behind, though I am curious about the pink stuff in that jar in the cupboard.
There have been major changes since i last posted anything on here. Virtually all the naked women/porn has been removed,it looks cheap and tacky. My websites have all been amalgamated into one, making things easier to manage look after. I am out of work, actually this is a common issue, hopefully it is changing. I do not know the World record for numbers of employers in a working career, I’m sure I am pretty close to it, if not the unofficial holder. Does anybody know the real figure?
I am back in the Mother country now, the weather is windy and alternates between sunshine and rain. A bit like my mental health. The cats are all well and as demanding as they ever were, they seem to smell a bit, seeing as I have been away and cat free for so long. Has anybody else experienced this?
J and I speak everyday, several times a day actually we are missing each other horribly, but it spurs us on to bring our lives together faster and more permanently. I went for an interview a few days ago, it was a little nerve wracking, stepping out of my comfort zone and into an unknown environment. I am leaving retail behind it was making me sick, the anxiety issues were getting stupid to the point where I was frightened of leaving the house, in case I flipped and clobbered someone. The tablets are still working, The drinking has calmed down and makes me quite sleepy with even a “little”. I am sleeping properly.
I aim to do something creative today or even a couple of things. I have some ideas and things are beginning to take form. I have been inspired by some of the waterfalls in the Tompkins County/Ithaca area of NY State. I would like like to paint them “En Plein air.” at some juncture. I have deferred from Uni until October, to give myself time to get better. They are going to give me extra support and that, which is nice.
The sun is shining, it looks to be a nice day…. Coffee.
This is the first post in a little while,One has been procrastinating in part and otherwise occupied in other matters.
So the new University year has started and for what is the 3rd year of academic study in my journey to attaining a degree in the arts, I think it would be hard to ask for anything better, I now have several thick books with lots of writing and laden with images of beautiful art too, I could not be happier.
Studying aside, after 25+ years experience in the retail industry the time came to call an end to it all and have since moved into fundraising and the interesting thing is when I first moved to this city 23 years ago, I saw a notice for the people I know work for and something inside me said I would be working for them one day, well to be honest they have changed their name (once) in that time but their core mission and principles are the same. It beats stacking things on shelves, stock takes, positioning FSDU’s and the like, the mileage in the car has shrunk immeasurably, have more time to myself and am doing something I thoroughly enjoy.
When you bear in mind my last employers were Crooks (literally) in name and practice. It is so refreshing not to be dealing with those people anymore, I do not like people who cannot maintain professional distance and the administrator was just like that, a real nosey so and so, from Leeds which for those, who do not know is in West Yorkshire, their local Association Football club ( the game played with a round ball and eleven players on each team) is leeds Utd.
Football and Yorkshire aside, relationship wise we are still together she has gone home back to the States for the time being after being over here for 5 months.
Life is good right now.