So for all those people who got their A level results today and are now crying and complaining that they did not get the Three As they felt so entitled to, wanted or ‘expected’ I have this much to say to you. “Shut up”
You have been lied too, you do not need to go to University. The system wants you to go to University. to work up colossal debt you have little or no chance of paying back and with an ever shrinking job market leaving you with ever decreasing chances of finding employment and a greater likelihood of not being able to pay back what you owe.
You do not need to go to university, A levels or qualifications to make a success of your life. Far better to possess decency, common sense, creativity and a desire to succeed, these four will see you get more satisfaction from life than a school load of qualifications. Spend a few years in the workplace and get some life experience under your belt, get drunk, fall in love and see some of the world before trying to be Brain of Britain. Employers prefer staff members with life experience who know how to wash behind their ears, qualifications provide none of that.
Other matters now, these last days have been stupidly warm, happily we are due lots of cooling rain which will make things like a sauna instead of an oven. I may even go and do a bit of gardening later on, or maybe something else instead. The cats have each found their own methods of dealing with the weather one sits under an upturned pond liner and sleeps, another sprawls on the floor and sleeps and my queen? well she alternates between sleeping in the shade of the nut tree or being sprawled in the shade of the Fig tree. Sleeping. We can learn lots from cats and Nowness (that of being in the present) is perhaps the most important, the other is not having a reliance of Facebook or other social media to satisfy our needs. Take a few days off of these places and see how much easier your life becomes and how much you get done in terms of personal productivity. Think of FB as akin to Alcohol or some other soporific and you will begin to understand the effect it can have on the brain.
Your time on this planet is finite and your allotted portion passes quickly. Use it wisely to benefit yourself and those you care for, stop giving it people who do not care.
So I gave the new mower a test run today, that is a day after putting it together and making sure it stays together,I actually found a couple of little bits that needed clicking on today. The long grass is now short. also the stinging nettles and brambles got their revenge for me pulling them up and otherwise getting rid of them, I don’t mind.
I have even found some time to do some painting and have completed a couple of pieces, they shall be posted soon and then hung up to dry out. Ninja the Tomcat is busy washing himself on the terrace, he will be scrounging for food soon as is his thing, even though he was fed only a few hours ago. He is greedy! The weather is being nice today, quite mild with a bit of cloud, I am getting hungry.
Hunger assuaged to some extent, the pastries are a bit stale and dry but otherwise quite tasty. This small repast is made all the more tasty by listening to the case of some woman in South Wales who was murdered by Gooseberry Tart, naturally it was her husband who had bumped her off. (He was having an affair and wished to be free of her) Arsenic was the method of poisoning in this case. The couple had a large house with servants, like wealthy people did back in 1919. Actually the wine, a Burgundy carried the poison.
Happily for Harold Greenwood, he had a good barrister and proposed to a new lover before his wife’s body was cold, though not literally. My eyes have been giving me a bit of trouble these last days, I have been screwing them up as if they do not like the light or some other factor, perhaps it is artificial light or too much computer time. I have spent more time in the garden today and the symptoms seem to have calmed down a bit. I hope it all clears up very quickly.
Today was a day of not doing very much, no garden pond, no redecorating, no tidying no nothing a day of relaxation (almost) But I did pick up a paint brush and use it for it’s intended purpose that of applying paint to canvas. I also worked through one of my old set of ramblings and found staying on subject a bit of a chore and not because what I was working from is rambling to say the least and frequently jumping from one subject to another, smoking, alcohol, Pink Floyd, Cannabis Chernobyl and radiation.
It would be easier if I could read my hand writing and feel sorry for anybody who has to read it in my place like someone marking an examination paper, I have argued this one with the university authorities numerous times and explained this and that and the other and they do not want to know. I need an official letter stating I have a hand writing disability or similar type condition. It’s enough to make a cat laugh.
I explained this dilemma to my Tom cat ( that’s him in the photo) and all he did was purr and proceed to lick his backside, he cares… about food, a warm bed and home and not much else.J just pointed out that I repeated myself that’s cut,copy and paste for you and I forgot to check it through or if I did it wasn’t noticed.
I would really like to write more but cannot find the words to write right now, perhaps it is time for bed or something.
J is going to hospital today, she will probably be away for a good four weeks maybe a little longer. In many respects I ought to be going with her but due to various constraining factors that is not currently possible. You see we both have the same condition in that we live with excruciating anxiety disorders that can make life unbearable at times and we both like to drink, Alcohol helps deal with the anxiety but it does not help with the depression we both live with, we medicate ourselves with depressants when we both take anti-depressants, which rather defeats the object of the initial exercise in taking the medication.
Up to around three years ago I had not had a drink for ten years or more, then I had a drink and in that time have managed three days without drinking not bad on 50+ units week average.
It is never the money that motivates me to stop, though this time I may well make the exception to the rule and enjoy having something to put aside each month. I also look forward to saying good bye to the hang overs and the shakes and generally feeling a lot healthier. I shall also be looking to get some kind of counselling or go to AA meetings. Something I did not do the first time around.
I have found, as may some readers that when I choose to do anything in the affirmative to make positive steps to clear up my act, it gets poo poo-ed and people say it is your Irish blood or that’s not much. It has nothing to do with your ancestral blood or the intake it is an addiction which is like any other illness you have to admit there is a problem before you seek help and then have the fortitude and willingness to undertake the cure.
I have J she is in safe hands, I also have the cats they don’t know I have an alcohol issue but are a great comfort at any time of day or night.
To say we are living in Interesting times would be an understatement. I do not think I have ever spent so much time on virtual lock down since I was put in isolation during my school days, and that was due to the punitive regime in force, not any contagion or disease. You could say Public (private) school taught me a couple of valuable life lessons, the other being making use of whatever it is you have at hand and occupying every moment you have with something to prevent madness setting in.
If you are lucky enough to live by yourself like I am and are by nature a bit of an introvert then you may well know where I am coming from, for someone who likes his dinner at a regular time and would rather go to the library than out clubbing I am in my element. I have the cats, The garden, my art and the laptop. Bingo! my only complaint is I am rather low on the Pasta front so may have to go out and look for some in the next couple of days.
Throughout this last week of shutting myself away, the weather has been kind and the sun has shone. Despite the cold breeze it has been nice and I am glad it has not been wet and grey cause that would be no fun whatsoever. Some good news I started doing my annual planting of the seeds a few years ago with the idea, that some of them will turn into food, I now have baby plants sticking their heads up through the soil. The kitchen windowsill is working its magic again. I am using Greenhouse magic as well, but Beans and Peas take a little longer. Everything is well wrapped up in Muslin so ought be snug and warm, the sun shall do the rest.
J is doing well and bearing her load with the fortitude and resilience of her people, she is in safe hands and we speak several times a day. She is largely absent of the news at the moment, so we laugh about politicians and family members instead.
Meanwhile I must give thanks for my continuing good health, my international dialling card and the multitude of stuff I can occupy myself with until such a time when things get back to normal, or should I say Less interesting.
I have no idea of what to write about. So I am going to write about something.
These last few days have been quite hectic, Hyper-ventilation, nervousness, anxiety a whole host of different things and feelings. And quite a lot of running around too. I have finally moved the desk/office up the stairs to the library where I can look out the window at the garden and be surrounded by books. It is more peaceful up here, the cats have found the bean bag and are fast alseep. It makes a change to have at least one of them using the desk as it’s roosting place. I know Cats don’t roost,but this one might as well.
All the art stuff is now on a big trestle table downstairs and I do not care if it gets covered in paint, in fact I am looking forward to that. If we have guests,I can throw a table cloth over it and nobody will be none the wiser. career wise, the job centre seem to agree that it is pointless me looking for work I detest or am going to get pissed off with after 3 weeks. They want me to focus on what I like. I love and enjoy. Art, books, history and Alcohol, Actually I do not want to involve myself in Alcohol. (Apart from drinking it) Did I mention painting. cause all I really want to do apart from learning and studying is to paint. Perhaps learning more on the rules of punctuation would help as well.
There are lots of new idea’s bustling around in my head, waiting to get out. I am looking forward to showing some on here as and when they materialise. I would love to write more, but really do have to look for work now.
So yet another year has passed, and for that matter so has another job/employer. This time over signing a piece of paper. It would seem’s my happy little brain is not very good at remembering such things. Never mind the place was badly run when I started there back last October and from there it has just got worse. Where else, would you find clothing and books ending up in the fridge next to the Yogurt and Cheese?
I feel half tempted to mention the name of the place here,but shall content myself with saying Heyford Hill. Make of it what you will.
Happier news now, I am having a spurt of growth in the creative department, and am pressing ahead with making some business out of it all. I am, if you have been visiting here regularly have realised by now I am not very good at holding down employment. Well I can barely sack myself, can I?
I don’t want to post anything art wise on this post, this does not mean I have been lazy. Far from it, I have simply played around with camera’s enough for one day and am feeling hungry, it is after all lunch time.
Instead I thought I would share a photo my best friend/Fiance took of me a couple of day ago. We aim to get all three of the cats involved at some point.
BTW Jessica is my real name, and any idea’s of my being trans should not be entertained. I just happen to enjoy wearing women’s clothes.
There have been major changes since i last posted anything on here. Virtually all the naked women/porn has been removed,it looks cheap and tacky. My websites have all been amalgamated into one, making things easier to manage look after. I am out of work, actually this is a common issue, hopefully it is changing. I do not know the World record for numbers of employers in a working career, I’m sure I am pretty close to it, if not the unofficial holder. Does anybody know the real figure?
I am back in the Mother country now, the weather is windy and alternates between sunshine and rain. A bit like my mental health. The cats are all well and as demanding as they ever were, they seem to smell a bit, seeing as I have been away and cat free for so long. Has anybody else experienced this?
J and I speak everyday, several times a day actually we are missing each other horribly, but it spurs us on to bring our lives together faster and more permanently. I went for an interview a few days ago, it was a little nerve wracking, stepping out of my comfort zone and into an unknown environment. I am leaving retail behind it was making me sick, the anxiety issues were getting stupid to the point where I was frightened of leaving the house, in case I flipped and clobbered someone. The tablets are still working, The drinking has calmed down and makes me quite sleepy with even a “little”. I am sleeping properly.
I aim to do something creative today or even a couple of things. I have some ideas and things are beginning to take form. I have been inspired by some of the waterfalls in the Tompkins County/Ithaca area of NY State. I would like like to paint them “En Plein air.” at some juncture. I have deferred from Uni until October, to give myself time to get better. They are going to give me extra support and that, which is nice.
The sun is shining, it looks to be a nice day…. Coffee.