THE NON DEMON DRINK.

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

J is going to hospital today, she will probably be away for a good four weeks maybe a little longer. In many respects I ought to be going with her but due to various constraining factors that is not currently possible. You see we both have the same condition in that we live with excruciating anxiety disorders that can make life unbearable at times and we both like to drink, Alcohol helps deal with the anxiety but it does not help with the depression we both live with, we medicate ourselves with depressants when we both take anti-depressants, which rather defeats the object of the initial exercise in taking the medication.

Up to around three years ago I had not had a drink for ten years or more, then I had a drink and in that time have managed three days without drinking not bad on 50+ units week average.

It is never the money that motivates me to stop, though this time I may well make the exception to the rule and enjoy having something to put aside each month. I also look forward to saying good bye to the hang overs and the shakes and generally feeling a lot healthier. I shall also be looking to get some kind of counselling or  go to AA meetings. Something I did not do the first time around.

I have found, as may some readers that when I choose to do anything in the affirmative to make positive steps to clear up my act, it gets poo poo-ed and people say it is your Irish blood  or that’s not much. It has nothing to do with your ancestral blood or the intake it is an addiction which is like any other illness you have to admit there is a problem before you seek help and then have the fortitude and willingness to undertake the cure.

I have J she is in safe hands, I also have the cats they don’t know I have an alcohol issue but are a great comfort at any time of day or night.

Gardening

Uncategorized

Though the weather has been sunny this last week or so it has also at times been rather on the cold side. The sort of cold that makes you want to stay inside and do warm things.

I could have been doing a lot more of the warm things but was lazy, procrastinated and now have to start again.  Procrastination is a beastly thing and results in wasted time  from not doing stuff which is probably beneficial to ones well being and security. Today it was in my plans to do a load of internet stuff uploading artwork and editing artwork, that sort of thing. However the weather has been nice and warm, J suggested I go do some garden and work off some energy so I did, the only thing I did not do was mow the lawn, that can wait it gives the bugs somewhere to do their thing and feed. I am leaving the dandelions alone again, the Bee’s like them and I like Bee’s. The soil has been raked through and the rubbish has been dumped out of the way. The garden is looking nice and will I am sure be a picture come summer.

DSCN0363

It looks a bit tidier than a few years ago when all I had growing was a big bunch of weed, now there is grass and more grass and a pond and a couple of fruit trees as well. This patch of land provides a great amount of comfort, it provides peace of mind and is in a state of constant change, it beats anything in the papers,on the news and is a little haven to escape too.

There is an almighty big fat Pigeon that comes down in the early morning, that my old lady (Lulu the cat) tries to catch, the bird is far to smart  and swift of wing. Lulu has to content herself with the thing on a string instead, she is waiting for J to come back and fuss her more than I can.